Muskrat News Research Reports

New Exam Rules Promulgated

Addendum to exam rules

1.  Violating the Honor Code in ways not specified by the Honor Code is a violation of the Honor Code.

2.  For example, making page four of your exam answer "A coupon that may or may not be worth a trip to Aruba the day after grades are released, if you catch my drift" is not allowed.  At least not for those cut-rate five-day packages with the cheap hotels and bargain-basement charter flights like we got last year, if you get our drift. 

3.  Also, mocking the over-elaboration of behavioral rules for a group of alleged adults is a violation of the Honor Code. 

4.  Japery, Jest, Sly aversions, Blunt-force satire and unfunny board posting are also violations of the Honor Code.

5.  All Cretans are liars, and I am a Cretan.

6.  Just as students may not collaborate on exams, neither may they attempt to distract  or in other ways negatively influence the performance of their fellow students.  Specifically, the following activities constitute distractions and are hereby deemed violations of the Honor Code:
--Repeatedly Screaming "Jesus Effing Christ!  I Don't Remember Any of This!!"
--The wearing of intentionally disruptive costumes such as, e.g., a clown suit.
--Disrobing, with or without subsequent sexual displays, including performing portions of the Paris Hilton video. 
--Harmonica, kazoo, or bagpipe playing
--Shouting "You're a dead man!  You here me?  You!" to people who finish early

7.  The words "shizzle" and "nizzle" may not be used on any exam, until we find out what they mean and whether they're dirty or not.

8.  The use of steroids, MHG, GMBH, BHA, BHT, BGH, and BLTs are prohibited.  Random blood tests will be administered to students leaving the exam room to test for these substances.  As has traditionally been the case, the use of alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, ether, psilocybin, hashish, PCP and methamphetamine is encouraged.

9. Reading the Board when you should be studying is a Violation of the Honor Code.

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