"Difficile est satiram non scribere." (It is difficult to not write satire.) - Juvenal
Interstellar Weather
Cold. So very cold. And empty. But mostly cold.
Fighting Words Horoscopes
Taurus
Sez You
Aries
Wuss
Virgo
You and What Army?
Saggitarius
Make Me
Capricorn
Well Boo-Freaking-Hoo
Pisces
You Haven't Got the Cojones
Aquarius
You Want to Take This outisde, Little Man?
Libra
We Welcome the WMD Inspectors to Come back to Iraq (White House Only)
Office Holiday Party Etiquette
Santa isn't that lonely. Or drunk. Ted, from accounting, is both.
Life/Style/Features
Recess News
Senate Panel Approves Defense Nominee
from www.nytimes.com
WASHINGTON, Dec. 5 — President Bush’s nominee to be defense secretary won a key Senate committee endorsement today, hours after testifying that the United States was not winning the war in Iraq, and that an American failure there could help to ignite “a regional conflagration” in the Middle East.
The candor shown by Gates was appreciated by the panel, but their eagerness to confirm the nominee appeared to stem at least in part from their desire to ensure that there was someone who could be blamed for the ongoing debacle in Iraq. The mood was perhaps summed up by the statement of the Chairman upon announcing the vote: "We hereby approve this nomination by a vote of 21 to zero. No tagbacks, no givebacks."
Gates, for hispart, promised to give America's Iraqi allies "two for flinching" if they did not show pogress in taking responsibility for their own security. Asked how he would deal with the problem of Iranian and Syrian involvement in regional instability, Gates replied replied the best response was to call them out on the grounds that 'Simon didn't say 'destabilize your neighbor state.'"
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Just so we're clear on the concept, each item starts with an excerpt from a real news source. That part is in bold. The rest is, well, fake. I mean, who would name an Undersecretary of State "John Bolton," anyway?
February/March/April 2005
04/04/05 - New Ideas in Store for Church, Like "Electricity"
03/31/05 - Pope About To FInd Out If He Was Right
03/21/05 - Lil' Kim Intrudes on Run-DMZ
03/03/05 - Ten Commandments "Secular to Their Holy and Perfect Core"
03/02/05 - Hole in Head Makes Man Mad, Not Sad
03/01/05 - POTUS Jazzy Jef Reveals Def New Nickel
02/21/05 - Bush Goes all Zen on Our Asses
02/07/05 - Cheney Set to Invade Rumpus Room
02/02/05 - Pope Relinquishes Control of Vatican Arsenal
03/31/05 - Pope About To FInd Out If He Was Right
03/21/05 - Lil' Kim Intrudes on Run-DMZ
03/03/05 - Ten Commandments "Secular to Their Holy and Perfect Core"
03/02/05 - Hole in Head Makes Man Mad, Not Sad
03/01/05 - POTUS Jazzy Jef Reveals Def New Nickel
02/21/05 - Bush Goes all Zen on Our Asses
02/07/05 - Cheney Set to Invade Rumpus Room
02/02/05 - Pope Relinquishes Control of Vatican Arsenal
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